Moving On
by eccentric
Summary: Jake and Penny are at the beginning of their relationship. *New & final chapters: 5, 6, 7* R
1. Morning Doubts

A/N: This is my first FanFic ever so I'm sorry if it is horrible! I'm not that great of a writer.  
  
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This takes place after the episode "Take A Penny, Leave A Penny". It's the morning after Jake makes the pro and con list. Jake and Penny are at the beginning of their relationship and the office seems to be filled with doubts and confusion.  
  
This chapter is called "Morning Doubts".  
  
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters or anything.  
  
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Penny's alarm sounds. It is time to get up and get ready to go to work. Usually she dreads her alarm. It always used to mean that it was time to go to work and listen to Jake whine about Dylan. Today, however, was different. He wouldn't be whining about Dylan. He'd be smiling at Penny. Penny, his new girlfriend. Jake's Dylan days were over.  
  
Penny gladly gets up and into the shower. She gets dressed, does her makeup and dries her hair. She decides to pick up something for breakfast on the way. Maybe a bagel, and a muffin for Jake. She smiles at the thought of it. She finally has Jake.  
  
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Jake sits in his office. He is waiting for Penny to arrive. He can't believe they are together now. He's so happy. All of a sudden, Dylan walks in.  
  
"Hi Jake," she says.  
  
"Hey Dylan," he replies.  
  
"Want some coffee? I just put on a pot".  
  
"Um, sure".  
  
Jake walks to the coffee stand with Dylan. They begin to talk and laugh, just like they did at their usual coffee sessions. Jake even makes the little creams talk like puppets. Everything Jake had been thinking about before seems to have slipped his mind.  
  
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Penny walks into the office to see Jake talking with Dylan. He was doing his "creamer" bit again. Penny rolls her eyes.  
  
"Sorry to break the news to you, Gepetto, but the cream isn't a real live boy", she says.  
  
"What? Oh, hey Penny", he replies, startled. He smiles at her.  
  
"Hi. I picked you up a muffin" she tells him.  
  
"Oh, thanks".  
  
"No problem" she says, giving him a kiss.  
  
Penny smiles at him, says a quick "hello" to Dylan, then goes to her desk. Jake watches her walk away.  
  
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Dylan feels uncomfortable. This whole idea of Penny and Jake together seems so strange to her, so unnatural. She had almost forgotten about the whole thing.  
  
Before, Dylan had thought that Jake had a crush on Penny. Lately, however, she had thought his feelings were directed more towards her, until, of course, she saw them kissing in his office. She shuddered, remembering that moment, and remembering why she had been going to see Jake that afternoon. She couldn't believe her luck that she had seen them together, otherwise she could have made a huge fool of herself, as well as ruining her relationship with Gavin.  
  
'Gavin isn't really so bad' she told herself. She knew Jake didn't like him, but that was Jake, not her. Her feelings were what counted, and her heart belonged to Gavin. She loved him. At least, that's what her mind kept telling her.  
  
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Jake felt ashamed of himself. While standing there talking to Dylan, he had forgotten all about Penny. In fact, he thought he was still in his Dylan phase. 'You're with Penny' he kept reminding himself. 'You don't like Dylan anymore. You like Penny. She's your girlfriend. She's the one you want'. Jake then nodded (to no one) and walked over to Penny, leaving Dylan by herself at the coffee stand.  
  
"Hey kitten" he says.  
  
"Hey doggy" she replies, not looking up from her desk.  
  
"So, do you wanna come have breakfast in my office?" he asks.  
  
"Um, sure. I'll be in a minute. You can take the food with you if you want" Penny tells him.  
  
"Uh, ok" Jake says, picking up the bag and walking into his office.  
  
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Dylan was listening to them from the coffee stand. She found it so annoying that Jake would talk like that in the office while she was there. Hey kitten? What was he trying to pull? And she didn't like it that Penny kissed him right in front of her. Public displays of affection were so annoying. Her and Gavin never did that... or did they?  
  
She didn't understand Penny, either. Even with a boyfriend she was still her sarcastic self. Dylan figured that Penny would open up, become a little bit more warm and caring since she was in a relationship. Why was she acting like that? She should be happy for herself and lose the negative attitude.  
  
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Penny could tell Dylan had been watching them. She also thought that Dylan looked sort of angry or put off, and Penny liked it. All along, Dylan had had the boyfriend, Gavin, her prince, and chasing after her was Jake, Penny's prince. For once, Penny got the guy. Sure, Dylan had never admitted that she wanted to be with Jake, but still, she had kept Jake away from Penny. Now that Jake wasn't available anymore, Dylan was mad, which was so ironic, because Penny was happy. Funny how those things work out, isn't it?  
  
Penny could see Dylan watching her out of the corner of her eye. It was starting to bother her. What was she staring at?  
  
"Do I have something on my face or something?" Penny asked her, in her usual sarcastic tone.  
  
"What? No. Why would you think that?" said Dylan.  
  
"Well, maybe because you've been staring at me for only, well, since I walked in here" Penny answered.  
  
"Oh, have I? I'm sorry. I just have things on my mind. I didn't notice I was staring. Sorry." Dylan told her, and with that she went to her office.  
  
'Yeah, sure you do' Penny thought. It was so obvious that something about Penny bothered Dylan. Could is possibly be that her new relationship with Jake was bothering her? 'Good' thought Penny. 'Let her be jealous. Jake picked me'.  
  
She was still worried though. Jake had given up on Dylan so fast, what if he still had feelings for her? 'No' she said to herself. 'He chose me, he came to his senses and chose me. He won't change his mind'. But a voice in the back of her head said 'What if he does?'. Penny shook it off and went to eat breakfast with Jake.  
  
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Jake was sitting at his desk when Penny came in. She sat down across from him. He smiled at her.  
  
"Wow, I'm getting lots of stares today" says Penny. "It must be my new shampoo".  
  
Jake laughs. "No, it's just you. You're so pretty" he says.  
  
Penny smiles. "Well, I'm sure that's not what Dylan was thinking while she was staring at me. In fact, I know that's not what was on her mind".  
  
"Dylan was staring at you?" asks Jake, confused.  
  
"Yeah, and when I asked her what her problem was she brushed it off and left" Penny tells him.  
  
"Really? That's weird" he says.  
  
"Nah, who cares?" asks Penny. "She was probably just jealous, because I have a cute boyfriend that I care about, who just happens to care about me too".  
  
Penny smiles while she says this, walking over and sitting on Jake's lap.  
  
"You think she's jealous?" asks Jake.  
  
"I don't know" says Penny. "I don't really care. Why? Do you?"  
  
Penny has a wondering look on her face as she looks at Jake. He's so tense. After a pause, he answers her.  
  
"No. Why would I care?" he replies.  
  
"I have no idea" says Penny, more relaxed.  
  
The two continue to eat their breakfast, talking casually about nothing.  
  
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A/N: This is just the first chapter. Another one will be coming soon. 


	2. Stuck to Dylan

A/N: Again, I'm not that great of a writer so I'm sorry it's not that great. Also, I'm not great at coming up with jokes, so the characters might seem a little different. I'm working on it though.  
  
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It's coming up to lunch time, same day (I know, it's slow).  
  
This chapter is called "Stuck to Dylan".  
  
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters.  
  
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Dylan had a slow morning. Since Gavin was at home sick and Claire had taken the day off there wasn't much for her to do. She basically just sat around all morning, talking to Frank and thinking about Penny and Jake. She didn't understand why they bothered her so much. She had always liked Jake, and she never really had a problem with Penny (except for the occasional incident, like the mayonnaise in the coffee thing). Why was it that now, since they are a couple, they are all of a sudden on her nerves? She didn't really have anything else to do so she went to go talk to Jake.  
  
Walking out into the main office she saw his door was closed. She decided not to bother him (in other words, she chickened out). However, she noticed Penny sitting at her desk, so she went to talk to her.  
  
"Hi Penny" she says.  
  
"Hi Dylan" Penny replies, sounding very uninterested.  
  
"Whatcha doing?" asks Dylan.  
  
"Working" replies Penny.  
  
There is a long pause.  
  
"Yeah, like you'd believe that" says Penny, turning around to face her.  
  
Dylan smiles.  
  
"So what have you done all morning?" asks Penny. "I noticed neither of the hosts are here. What's that all about?"  
  
"Yeah, Gavin is sick. And Claire, well you know Claire. She took the day off. So my morning has been fairly uneventful" tells Dylan.  
  
"I see. Well, I better actually do some work, or Jake will fire me" says Penny, turning back to face her computer.  
  
"Yeah, like that will ever happen" says Dylan.  
  
"You never know" says Penny, "so I really shoudn't take the chance".  
  
Dylan knew Penny was just trying to get rid of her so she left to go find Frank.  
  
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Penny watched Dylan walk away. That was so weird. Why would Dylan come talk to her? Dylan never really showed any interest in Penny before. If Dylan was bored she usually talked to Gavin. Gavin wasn't here today, so her next choice would usually be Jake. Oh, but of course. Dylan was going to go talk to Jake, but for some reason she turned back and talked to Penny instead. Was she scared? Penny didn't really know, and she wasn't about to go find out. Instead, she herself went to talk to Jake. She was bored of pretending to work.  
  
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Dylan found Frank on the set. She had no idea what he was doing there and didn't feel like hearing an explanation so she just went and sat down next to him.  
  
"What's up Dyl?" he asks.  
  
"Nothing much, Frank. I'm bored. There's not much for me to do around here today" she replies.  
  
"How come you don't go home then and take care of Gavin?" asks Frank.  
  
"Well. it's just. Gavin and I. I don't know." she trails off, looking puzzled.  
  
"Something wrong, Dylan?" asks a concerned Frank.  
  
"I don't know. No. Maybe. No. Have you seen Penny and Jake together?" she asks him, completely changing the subject.  
  
"Oh, yeah, they make a cute couple. I have to admit, though, I didn't see it coming" he tells her.  
  
"Yeah, me either. It's just so weird, ya know? Penny and Jake. Jake and Penny. I just, I mean, I never expected this." says Dylan.  
  
"Why is it such a big shock to you? Aren't you happy for them?" asks Frank.  
  
"What? Oh, yeah, um, sure. Of course I'm happy for them" says Dylan. She is very unconvincing.  
  
"Alright then. Are you sure about that?" says Frank. He seems worried about her.  
  
"Yes. I gotta go Frank. I'll talk to you later" says Dylan, and she hurries off leaving Frank very confused.  
  
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Jake was trying to work when Penny came in. He wasn't doing a very good job though. His thoughts were getting to him.  
  
"Hey Jake" says Penny, entering Jake's office with a smile. She closes the door behind her.  
  
"Hi Penny" says Jake, looking up swiftly then back down at his computer.  
  
"It's almost lunch time" she reminds him. "Wanna go get something to eat?"  
  
"Um, I don't know if I can. I have a lot of work to do" replies Jake.  
  
"Oh, okay" says Penny disappointedly. "I guess I'll just catch up with you later then". She walks over to him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Bye" she says as she leaves.  
  
"Bye", says Jake, hardly paying attention.  
  
Jake sighed when she was gone. What had he just done? Why did he blow her off? What was wrong with him? He finally had somebody who wanted to spend time with him and who liked him a lot, and he just turns them down? What was he thinking?  
  
Of course, he knew the answer to that. He was thinking about Dylan. Once again, Dylan affected his mind. He obviously wasn't over her. 'Yes I am' he tells himself. 'I don't like Dylan, she's just my friend, nothing more. It's Penny who I want. She's the one for me'. What hurt the most about these unspoken words was that, even though he wanted it to be that way so bad, he knew it was not. He still cared for Dylan. How could he do this to Penny?  
  
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Penny was bummed that Jake couldn't go to lunch, but she decided to go by herself. There was no point of sticking around the office if Jake couldn't talk to her, and she wasn't about to have another weird conversation with Dylan. She grabbed her coat and left.  
  
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Dylan left her conversation with Frank because she could tell he was on to her, whatever it was that she was thinking. She walked out to the main office area and bumped into Jake, literally.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she says.  
  
"That's okay" replies Jake. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"  
  
"Um, I'm going to, to, uh, I really don't know" admits Dylan. "What about you?"  
  
"You know what? I don't know where I'm going either" he says.  
  
"Okay then" says Dylan, awkwardly. "Well, I think I'm gonna go for lunch".  
  
"Alright then" says Jake. He looks lost.  
  
"Um, well, would you like to come with me?" asks Dylan.  
  
Stunned and clearly not thinking, Jake says he would like to go with Dylan. The two get their coats and leave together.  
  
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Penny comes back from her lunch break to find Jake's office empty. When looking around for other coworkers, she only finds Frank.  
  
"Do you know where Jake went?" asks Penny.  
  
"Um, yeah, I think he went to lunch with Dylan" says Frank.  
  
"With Dylan?" asks Penny, a tone of worry in her voice.  
  
"Yes, with Dylan" replies Frank.  
  
"Oh, okay" says Penny sadly.  
  
She goes to wait for Jake in his office. She can't think of a way this could possibly be a mistake. He lied to her and went off with Dylan. Penny didn't know what was going on with him, but she knew one thing. She wasn't happy right now, and she didn't think her day was about to get brighter.  
  
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A/N: New chapter soon! 


	3. Blue

A/N: Please review. I need pointers to make the writing better.  
  
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I've used some lyrics from songs that describe how the characters are feeling. The lyrics will have little stars around them (**).  
  
This chapter is called "Blue".  
  
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters.  
  
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Jake walks into his office to see Penny sitting on his couch.  
  
"Hey Penny!" says Jake. He's smiling.  
  
"Hey Jake!" says Penny. The sarcastic/angry tone is in her voice along with a fake smile on her face.  
  
"How was your lunch?" asks Jake. He still doesn't seem to clue in that he's done something wrong to her. It's like he's forgotten about everything that went on.  
  
"Well, let's see. I ate alone at an empty pizza place because the guy I'm seeing was too busy to come with me, which was a lie. But how was your lunch? Did you have fun with your girlfriend?" Penny asks. The icy cold that is her voice is clear, leaving Jake fully aware that she is hurt.  
  
"Oh, right. Penny, I-"  
  
"Do you still love her?" asks Penny angrily, but seriously.  
  
"What? No, I just-"  
  
"Do you still have feelings for Dylan?" asks Penny again.  
  
Jake says nothing. Penny goes to leave.  
  
"No, Penny! Don't go!" pleads Jake.  
  
"Jake, what the hell did you think you were doing? Did you think you could hide something like this forever? Did you think I wouldn't find out? Do you think I'm stupid?" asks Penny, raging. There is a silent pause. "Nevermind. I am stupid. I am so stupid. I can't believe I thought you could actually be over her. I can't believe I thought that you actually wanted to be with me-"  
  
"But I do want to be with you" Jake tries to assure her. "No" says Penny. "You don't know what you want. Well, let me tell you, Jake, I know what I want. And I certainly do not want to be somebody's second choice".  
  
Penny walks out and slams the door, leaving a very sad, upset, confused, and lonely Jake.  
  
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Dylan sees Penny come out of Jake's office angry and upset.  
  
"Penny," Dylan begins, "what's wr-"  
  
"Nothing!" snarls Penny as she grabs her coat and leaves.  
  
Dylan is extremely confused, but she knows that even if she could catch up to Penny, she'd only be shot down. Instead, she knocks on Jake's door. When he says nothing, she walks in. Jake is sitting on his couch. He looks dreadful, just staring off into space.  
  
"Jake" says Dylan, looking very concerned, "I just saw Penny leave. She looked upset. What's going on? Did something happen?"  
  
"I really don't want to talk about it" says Jake sadly, not even meeting her eyes.  
  
"Oh, okay, but if you want to talk-"  
  
"You need to go, Dylan" says Jake.  
  
"Okay" says Dylan. She leaves Jake's office looking disappointed.  
  
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Penny ends up in her apartment. She collapses onto the couch and just lies there.  
  
*It's the circles underneath my eyes  
  
The color of the basement floor  
  
The way it looks inside my mind  
  
The color of things you don't want anymore*  
  
She can't understand what she did wrong. It had been less than a day since Jake decided he'd rather be with her and so soon he's already chosen to go back to Dylan, a girl who doesn't even want him back. Was she that awful? Was she really worth nothing?  
  
'It's probably the way I act' Penny thought. 'Dylan is so gentle and sweet and blah blah blah. I'm all sarcasm, hardly the girl-next-door'.  
  
*I'm way  
  
I'm way  
  
I'm way past blue*  
  
Penny sighs unhappily. She decides she's not going to cry, no matter how much this hurts. She's not that kind of person. She doesn't need Jake. No matter how much she wants him, no matter how much she loves him, she doesn't need him. She doesn't need anybody.  
  
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Jake sits still on his office couch. 'How did I let this get so messed up?' he asks himself. There really is no one else to blame. He's stuck to the impossible and has hurt someone he cares about. Someone who loves him.  
  
'Does she love me?' he wonders. She had never really said it, but she did care about him. A lot. That touched him. Penny had only ever seen the real him, the foolish Jake, who always said the wrong thing. Somehow, underneath it all, she liked that Jake. No matter how bad he tried to look good, and no matter how bad he failed, Penny still wanted to be with the real Jake. 'How is that possible?' he asks.  
  
He cared about Penny, too, and he knew that she was right. He didn't know what he wanted, and he knew it wasn't fair to her. He messed up. Could she forgive him?  
  
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*It's the same color as the sky  
  
That time when it rained so hard  
  
And we fought and we cried  
  
Because we thought we'd come so far*  
  
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A/N: End of chapter 3. More to come! 


	4. Goodbye

It is the afternoon on the same day (really slow!). There is lots of tension. Same deal with the lyrics here (**)  
  
This chapter is called "Goodbye".  
  
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.  
  
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Penny decides that there is no point of lying around her apartment all afternoon sulking (especially since she never really got the time off). That only shows weakness, and she is tough. She decides to go back to work, even if it meant facing Jake.  
  
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Dylan was still walking around doing nothing when Penny came back. She decides to go try to see what is wrong.  
  
"Penny?" says Dylan, cautiously.  
  
"What Dylan" says Penny, sort of harsh, as she walks past her to her desk.  
  
"Um, are you okay?" asks Dylan.  
  
"Yes, I am fine" says Penny. It's not very believable.  
  
"Are you sure?" asks Dylan, still very cautious.  
  
"Yes Dylan! Why wouldn't I be?" says Penny, moving things around on her desk to make it look like she was doing something.  
  
"Well, because, um, you stormed out of here so angry. And when I went to talk to Jake he wouldn't talk to me. He just told me to leave" Dylan tells her.  
  
"Oh, now he tells you to leave" says Penny angrily.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" asks Dylan defensively.  
  
"Just, nothing Dylan. I gotta do work. I'll talk to you later" says Penny, sitting down and opening up a program on her computer.  
  
Dylan walks over to the coffee stand annoyed.  
  
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Jake was still sitting on his couch thinking about things when he heard voices out in the main area. He decides to go see what is going on.  
  
"What is all the racket out here?" says Jake while he opens the door. He is surprised to see Penny sitting at her desk. "Penny."  
  
"What?" she says, not looking away from her computer.  
  
"You came back." says Jake. He is still stunned.  
  
"Yeah, well, I didn't want to get fired. That's the last thing I need right now" she says, still typing. "I'm surprised you noticed I was gone"  
  
Jake looks upset, "Of course I would notice.". Just then he notices Dylan watching them. "Can you come into my office, so we can talk?" he asks Penny.  
  
"I'm kind of busy right now, Jake. Too much work to do. But Dylan is bored, why don't you bring her into your office to talk to?" says Penny, almost daring him to do so.  
  
"I can talk with you if you want, Jake" says Dylan smiling.  
  
Jake looks at her, then at Penny, then at the floor. He just walks sadly back into his office and closes the door.  
  
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Penny was proud of herself. She didn't fall back into the hole that her whole Jake thing has dug for her. Instead, she took a small step away.  
  
"What was that all about?" Dylan asks her.  
  
"It's really none of your business" says Penny, turning back to her computer.  
  
"But Penny, I'm worried about you. You're my friend and I-"  
  
"I'm not your friend, Dylan" says Penny, looking at her. "Jake is your friend. We just work together. If you are so worried then why don't you go talk to him?"  
  
"But he doesn't want to talk to me" says Dylan sadly.  
  
"How come you can take his hints?" replies Penny. Dylan looks even more hurt. Penny sort of feels bad. "Look, I'm not one of those people who will just open up to anyone that want to know. I only open up to, well, myself, and the occasional other person. I don't talk things over. I say what needs to be said and move on"  
  
"So what needs to be said?" asks Dylan.  
  
"Basically, I don't want to talk. Not to you, not to Jake, nobody. If you're bored then go find a new toy to play with" says Penny.  
  
Dylan just stares at her. Then, "Fine" she says and she leaves.  
  
Penny sighs. Then she hears a door open behind her.  
  
"Jake, I told you, I don't want to talk," she says without turning around.  
  
"But we have to, Penny," says Jake.  
  
"No we don't," replies Penny.  
  
"Yes we do. I owe you an apology".  
  
Penny stops working and turns around. "Okay, I'm up for that".  
  
She walks into Jake's office. He closes the door after her. She turns to face him.  
  
"Alright," she says, "go ahead"  
  
"I should never have lied to you and then went off with Dylan. I wasn't thinking, everything slipped my mind. I'm sorry," he says.  
  
"Well, good to know I'm just something that slips your mind" says Penny sarcastically. She walks towards the door but Jake blocks her.  
  
"Look, Penny, we need to talk" he tells her.  
  
"I was informed that I would hear an apology and leave, no talking mentioned" says Penny.  
  
"I also owe you an explanation" says Jake.  
  
"No" says Penny. "I can figure that one out on my own. You're in love with Dylan".  
  
"No, I used to be. Love is a very strong word" he tells her.  
  
"I know it is. I know exactly just how strong the word and feeling of love are. That's why I can't believe I." she stops talking here.  
  
"You what?" asks Jake stepping towards her.  
  
"I, nothing, nevermind" says Penny. She tries for the door again but Jake blocks her.  
  
"Penny, why do you love me?" he asks her, looking directly into her eyes.  
  
"Why do you care?" asks Penny, looking back at him. She loves his eyes. They are like a window into the wonderful person that he is. She suddenly realizes that her eyes could be a window into the person that she is and she looks at the floor.  
  
Jake puts his hands on her shoulders. She pushes them off and turns away from him.  
  
*Of all the things I believed in  
  
I just wanna get it over with  
  
Tears form behind my eyes  
  
But I do not cry*  
  
"You don't care, Jake," she tells him.  
  
"Yes, I do," he assures her.  
  
"Not enough," she says, turning to face him, "that's why we shouldn't be together, or whatever it is we are".  
  
"But Penny-"  
  
"No, no buts. You're into Dylan. You always have been, and, you always will be. And I just can't stand by and watch you drift away. So whatever it is we are, well, we aren't. Goodbye Jake" she tells him, and she walks out of the office, closing the door behind her.  
  
*Goodbye to you  
  
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew  
  
You were the one I loved  
  
The one thing that I tried to hold onto*  
  
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Jake watches Penny leave his office. 'She is so strong' he thinks. 'She isn't even crying'. You could see tears sort of welling up in Jake's eyes, but he brushes them away and goes to his desk. 'I just gotta get through the rest of this day' he tells himself. 


	5. What If

A/N: If you're confused while reading this, check the A/N at the bottom and hopefully it will clear up confusion.  
  
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This chapter is called "What If..."  
  
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything!  
  
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Penny left work not early but not late. She got through the rest of her day only by forcing herself to work. She was glad to be back at her apartment.  
  
She hadn't seen Jake since she told him things were over. He had stayed locked inside his office the rest of the afternoon and wouldn't let anyone in. Not that Penny had tried to go see him. That would've been too soon. Too weird.  
  
That's what Penny hated the most about all of this. Not only could she not be Jake's girlfriend, but she couldn't be his friend either. Everything was different now. Jake knew about her feelings for him. And they had sort of been together, even if it was short. It would be so hard to go back to being friends with him since she had had a taste of what being more than friends with him was like.  
  
But what could she do? They had kissed. And he broke her heart. She would never admit it to him, but he had. She loved him. She still loves him. But she now knows that it's not enough. He wants more. He wants Dylan.  
  
"I wish we had never kissed," says Penny aloud, to no one. "That's what messed this whole thing up in the first place. If I had stopped the kiss, everything wouldn't be completely ruined".  
  
Penny collapses on the couch and eventually falls asleep. While sleeping, she has the strangest dream....  
  
--------------DREAM SEQUENCE--------------  
  
Penny is back in Jake's office.  
  
"It's just, I never thought of you like that before," Jake tells her. "I mean, you're such a good friend-"  
  
"Okay Jake, I don't need to be let down easy. You're into Dylan, you will always be into Dylan. I get it".  
  
"It's so weird though," Jake goes on. "All along I've been putting on 'The Jake Show' for her, and all this time, you've been watching backstage... this awkward, bumbling fool that I really am. How can you like that guy?"  
  
"Because of all of that," tells Penny. "I mean, you're real, and you're funny, and when we're together - look, it's not your problem, okay?"  
  
"I don't know what to say," Jake says. "I mean, the only reason I stayed in Miami-"  
  
"I know," cuts in Penny. "I should have never said anything".  
  
"Plus, you know me, anything to do with romance, and relationships..."  
  
"Me too," she nods. There is silence. Jake is moving in closer, almost like he's going to kiss her. "This is a mistake". Penny sort of backs away. They just stand there looking at each other.  
  
Dylan appears. "Am I interrupting anything?"  
  
Jake looks at Dylan, then at Penny. He says nothing.  
  
"No," replies Penny. "I was just leaving". Her eyes meet Jake's with a half sort of disappointed and half an 'I'll be alright' look. Then she leaves.  
  
"What was all that about?" asks Dylan.  
  
"Oh, nothing," replies Jake.  
  
"Alright," says Dylan. "Listen, Jake, I really need to talk to you about something".  
  
"Okay," replies Jake. "What is it?"  
  
Dylan doesn't really know what to say. She needs to find out how Jake feels about her, but she doesn't want to tell him that she has feelings for him.  
  
"So," she begins, "you had mono?"  
  
"Uh, yeah" replies Jake, somewhat confused.  
  
"Well, um, how did you get it?" asks Dylan.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I caught it from someone". Jake doesn't know what she's doing but he knows that she's not really asking about mono.  
  
"Do you know who?" asks Dylan. She feels awkward.  
  
"I don't know. Why?" asks Jake, in return.  
  
"Well, I just heard that you can get mono from kissing someone, so I figured, that maybe, you got it from... your girlfriend?" hints Dylan.  
  
"Okay, well, I don't have a girlfriend," replies Jake.  
  
"Oh, well, then from whoever you're seeing".  
  
"I'm not seeing anyone right now. But look, if this is all you needed to talk to me about, then excuse me, I'm gonna get back to work," Jake tells her.  
  
"Do you like me?" Dylan blurts out.  
  
"What? Like you? Wha-what do you mean?" bumbles Jake nervously.  
  
"Like, like... you know. Feelings. Do you have feelings for me?" asks Dylan awkwardly.  
  
"Well, yeah, I consider you a friend..." states Jake.  
  
"Oh, well, okay," says Dylan disappointedly.  
  
"That's all you meant, right?" asks Jake.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, of course," stumbles Dylan. Jake gives her a strange look. "Well, no. I meant as in, you know... more than a friend".  
  
"Oh, um... why?" asks Jake, trying not to panic.  
  
"Well, because... well, I sort of have feelings for you," tells Dylan. She looks really scared.  
  
"Really? You do?" asks Jake surprised.  
  
"Yes," answers Dylan.  
  
"Me too. I mean, I have feelings for you, too. I just, I never said anything, because you were with Gavin. Oh, Gavin...," says Jake, realizing something. He doesn't looks so excited anymore.  
  
Dylan walks towards him and kisses him.  
  
Returning to her desk from the coffee stand, Penny sees her horror. She witnesses the love of her life sharing a sweet and passionate kiss, a kiss that she will never know, never feel, never experience. She just watches as everything she's ever wanted slips farther and farther away, out of her reach, out of her sight...  
  
--------------END OF DREAM SEQUENCE--------------  
  
Penny wakes up startled after her dream. "I take it back," she says (again, aloud to no one). She knows that her kiss with Jake had messed things up between them, but it was still worth it. No matter how much she was hurting right now, she knew she'd get over it, and at least she would never wonder what could've happened if she hadn't let their first kiss happen. She now knew that her relationship with Jake couldn't work, and even though she hated the truth, it would help her move on. Besides, she was strong. She could handle it...  
  
--------------  
  
A/N: The dream sequence takes place in the episode "Mee So Torny". It is a rendition of what might have happened if they didn't kiss. 


	6. Missing You

A/N: One more chapter after this.  
  
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This chapter is called "Missing You".  
  
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters or anything.  
  
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A couple weeks had passed. Jake hadn't seen much of Penny. Sure, she was at work, but she never visited him in his office anymore. In fact, she was actually working now. Jake had always wished that she would actually do her job, but now he wasn't so sure. He missed her. He missed her insults, her jokes, her smile, her. Not having her there was killing him. He needed her friendship.  
  
A few days ago, Dylan had come to ask him what had happened with Penny. He had just told her things didn't work out. She sort of placed the blame on Penny, but Jake told her it was his fault. He messed up. But for some reason, he wasn't so sure she believed him.  
  
Jake was mad at himself for messing things up. He was mad at himself for still liking Dylan, for hurting Penny, for everything. And he was paying the price.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Penny hadn't really talked to Jake that much lately. She didn't know what to say to him. Was she supposed to pretend like nothing had ever happened? Like she was fine? Well, that's what the old Penny would've done. She had hid her feelings for Jake and when he had talked of how much he loved Dylan, she pretended it didn't matter to her.  
  
But it had. And this did too. She just couldn't go back to the way things were no matter how much she missed him. She wanted their friendship back, but she couldn't get past her resentment for what he had done to her.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jake knew he should go talk to Penny and try and make things better. He also knew that if he did so, he'd somehow mess things up even more. He didn't want to do that, but he wasn't sure he had another choice. He wanted Penny back, and he had to make the first step. He goes and opens the door.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Penny sort of liked her job. She had always hated it, but now that she was actually doing the work, it wasn't so bad.  
  
Of course, there was one thing that would make it better: if she could just feel comfortable around Jake again. But since he wasn't talking to her either, she'd have to make the first move. She stands up and walks towards his office door, just as he opens it.  
  
---------------------------  
  
Jake was surprised to see Penny standing at his door.  
  
"Hey," he says.  
  
"Hey," she replies. "Um, mind if I come in?"  
  
"Not at all," says Jake. He lets her in and closes the door after her. He watches her as she sits on his couch and looks at the floor. There was an awkward silence.  
  
"I'm sorry," they both say, looking up at each other.  
  
"Wait, why are you sorry?" asks Jake, surprised.  
  
"Because," says Penny. "I shouldn't have expected you to get over her so fast."  
  
"Penny, it was my fault. If I wasn't over Dylan, I shouldn't have started anything with you. I messed up," Jake tells her.  
  
"Well, yeah, you did, but I should've known that it was gonna happen. I mean, we couldn't last," she replies.  
  
"Why not?" asks Jake curiously.  
  
"Because, I mean, look at us. We're completely opposite. I think I just got a little bit ahead of myself. So I'm sorry for making such a big deal about it," Penny says.  
  
"Alright." says Jake, a little confused. "I guess."  
  
"You guess what?" asks Penny.  
  
"I just," he begins, but doesn't continue. He didn't see a reason why him and Penny couldn't last other than the fact that he still liked Dylan. But he wasn't gonna be so stupid as to say anything about it. He doesn't want to upset her or make her think that he wants to try dating with her again. He doesn't want to. at least, he thinks he doesn't. No.  
  
"You just.?" Penny interrupts his thoughts.  
  
"Oh, um, nevermind," he says.  
  
"Okay," says Penny, suspiciously. "Well, anyway, we're cool".  
  
"Okay, great," says Jake, smiling. "I just want you to know that, in the future, when I mess up at get you mad at me, I'll be much quicker to attempt at a good apology".  
  
Penny smiles. "Good thinking. So, I guess I'll be going then". She stands up and walks towards the door.  
  
"Wait," says Jake, "Come sit for a bit. I want to ask you something".  
  
"Okay," says Penny. She takes a seat on the other side of his desk. He sits across from her. "What do you wanna ask me?"  
  
"Um, was Dylan bothering you about what happened between us?" he asks her.  
  
"Why?" asks Penny annoyed. 'More Dylan,' she thinks. 'Doesn't Jake know when to shut up?'  
  
"Well, because, when she asked me what happened, I told her things didn't work out. And I kind of got the feeling that she thought it was your fault, so-"  
  
"Didn't bother to tell her otherwise?" asks Penny.  
  
"No, I did tell her otherwise. I told her that it was my fault, but I don't think she believed me. So if she bothers you or anything, tell me, and I'll tell her to stop".  
  
Penny shakes her head. "Yes, because I can't tell her to stop by myself. Sometimes I think you don't even know who I am".  
  
"What do you mean?" he asks her, confused.  
  
"Just, nevermind," she replies. She decides to not get into it right now. "Is there anything else you need to ask me before I leave?"  
  
"Um, yes, actually," replies Jake.  
  
"What?" she asks, waiting for another Dylan question.  
  
"What is it that you wanted?" Jake asks her.  
  
"What are you talking about?" asks Penny, confused.  
  
"A while back. you told me that I didn't know what I wanted, and you said that you did. What did you want?"  
  
"I told you," says Penny, looking at him.  
  
"No you didn't. You told me what you didn't want," replies Jake.  
  
"Exactly," says Penny, "and by telling you what I didn't want, you should know what I did".  
  
"Oh," says Jake, looking at the floor.  
  
"Yeah," says Penny, doing the same.  
  
"So is that what you still want?" he asks her, looking up.  
  
"That's all I've ever wanted," replies Penny, meeting his eyes. There is a long pause. "But, it doesn't matter, because I'll never get it," she says, standing up.  
  
"Yes you will," says Jake, also standing. "Penny, you're so. so."  
  
"So what?" she asks him.  
  
"Beautiful," he answers her with a smile.  
  
"Yeah, right," says Penny, breaking the stare, beginning to pace around his office.  
  
"No, really. Penny, you're so wonderful. I mean-"  
  
"Can you not do this?" asks Penny, turning to him.  
  
"Do what?" asks Jake obliviously.  
  
"Start with your compliments, and your romance. I'm sick of just being played around with. I'm a person too, Jake. I have feelings, even if I don't always show them. You just can't change your mind about me every time you think you've given up on Dylan".  
  
"Penny, that's not what I'm doing," Jake tells her.  
  
"Look, Jake, I wanted to be with you. But you couldn't accept the fact that I'm not the perfect girl who is always wonderful. The one who always says the right thing. The thoughtful, pretty one who is so perfect that she doesn't even realize that she is anything special to anyone. You couldn't get past it that I'm not that girl, and I'm not Dylan. So if you think I'm going to change and become that girl, then just stop it, because no matter how much I hate myself for being so stupid as to fall in love with you, I will not change the person I am".  
  
Penny looks really upset. Jake steps towards her and kisses her. She knew that she should push him away, but she couldn't. She didn't want to be hurt again, killed again by the only man she's ever loved, but she just couldn't pull away. She wasn't strong enough. She needed him after all.  
  
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A/N: The thing that Penny told Jake she didn't want is in Chapter 3, "Blue". What she didn't want was to be somebody's second choice. 


	7. Need

A/N: Final Chapter. Thanks for reading!  
  
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This starts where it left off. Jake and Penny are in his office kissing. (Lyrics in **)  
  
This Chapter is called "Need".  
  
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Penny is just standing there, kissing someone who she knows will just break her heart again. Kissing someone who doesn't even want her. Kissing someone who she needs, but doesn't need her back.  
  
Tears roll down her cheeks. Jake stops their kiss. Penny just stands there crying silently, falling apart in front of the person who she worked so hard to keep herself together for.  
  
"Penny," Jake says softly, "what's wrong?"  
  
Penny sits down on the couch and hides her face in her hands. Jake looks at her with concern, and shock, for he's never seen her cry or be so emotional.  
  
"Penny," he says again. But she stops him  
  
"Just, everything. Everything is wrong," she tells him. "I have nothing left. There's nothing left inside of me. I loved you, and I gave up my pride to tell you. And when I knew that it was over, I left to save the little dignity I have. Now, I give in, to a friendship that I'm not supposed to need (because I'm strong). And when I sense more heartbreak coming, I try to escape, but then you grab me and I can't let go. I can't push away". There is a long pause as Jake just looks at her. "I'm not supposed to need anything, Jake, but I feel like I need you so bad. And it scares me, because I know that I'll never have you. And what am I supposed to do when you're gone for good?"  
  
*Am I supposed to stop talking to you  
  
Am I supposed to forget  
  
Am I supposed to move on like you have  
  
When you're the most beautiful thing I've ever met*  
  
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Dylan had seen Penny go into Jake's office. She wondered what was going on. They'd been in there for a while. She decides not to interrupt anything, she'd just talk to Jake later. About everything. She'd been thinking about it more and more and it was starting to effect her. She needed to know how he felt about her, because ever since his little stint with Penny ended, her feelings for him grew stronger. There was nothing left to do except tell him. She was terrified.  
  
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Jake was so shocked at what Penny had just told him. He had never seen this side of her. Her pain, her longing, her needs: they had never been that important to him. But they were right now. He finally saw who she really was. Her strength was a barrier, and he had broken it with love. She wasn't really so negative, or so hard. She was just a girl, who had been put through too much, and had to protect herself, with a wall, standing in front of her heart.  
  
Jake looked deep into Penny's sad and tearful eyes and saw everything he had ever wanted. She was wrong; he needed her every bit as much as she needed him.  
  
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Penny couldn't stand to sit there crying any longer. She brushed away her tears and stood up.  
  
"I think I'm just going to go," says Penny. Jake hadn't said anything for a while, almost like he was frozen there. She opened the door to leave, but-  
  
"Penny," Jake calls.  
  
"Yes?" she asks. She still has tears in her eyes.  
  
"I need you too," he says.  
  
She shakes her head. "No, Jake, don't do this".  
  
"I'm not doing anything," he says as he walks towards her. He puts his hands on her waist. She looks at him sadly. "I need you".  
  
"How can that be?" she asks him amazed.  
  
"I've been dying these past two weeks without you," he tells her. "At first I thought it was just your friendship I missed, but it's not. It's you. I need you. And I know I don't deserve you, but I love you. And I promise if you give me a second chance, I will prove to you just how much you mean to me".  
  
Penny looks so shocked. She thinks that she must be dreaming. It can't be happening. Jake loves her? She thought he loved Dylan. This must be a mistake.  
  
"Jake, this can't be true."  
  
"Then how come it is?" he asks her.  
  
They just stand there, not talking, not moving, just staring. Then, smiling. They kiss. A sweet and soft symbol of what they've just proclaimed. They kiss, not caring that Dylan and Frank and others can see them because they've left the door open. It doesn't matter. Nothing does, except for each other. That's all that's left now.  
  
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End of story. 


End file.
